Judge the Living and the Dead

Welcome Home

My friend, John, died today. On hearing the news, I felt this huge surge of tears well up in my eyes. I sat and cried. I knew I was crying because I would miss him tremendously. I was crying for me, my loss. This wasn’t right. Oh, it is normal to cry because we will miss someone. But, his life was not, is not, something that we should ever cry over.

So, I began to search my thoughts about him, about his life. I wanted to think of something about him that touched me personally. There were many things, playing tennis with him, our trip with the soccer team to Ireland, our soccer trip to Canada, to name just a few. But the one that jumped up at me, almost immediately was this. Every week at half time of our older sons’ soccer game, John and my six year old son would go out to the open net and play shooter and goalie. My son was the shooter and John, the purposely faltering goalie. I sat at my kitchen table and cried. Even now, as I type this, the tears roll down my cheeks. But, again, I am crying for what I will miss, what I remember about him.

Each of us has a memory of John, something that is special just to us. All of these memories when put together create a picture of his life. This is not intended to be a eulogy. It is a simple statement that his life and our lives are full of memories. These are how we identify with him. But think about it…all these memories that all of us have of him they come together and form a beautiful life. This life is what he now presents to the welcoming arms of his God.

So, don’t cry for John. Yes, we will miss him, his smile, the twinkle in his eye, the love in his heart. But tears? No, they are not for him they are for what we will miss of him. He and all the memories that he made are now with God. He has gone home.

For us, let his life be a reminder of what our lives are all about. We are building up memories right now. The memories that people have of us will create a tapestry of our own life, as well. We can’t force those memories. We don’t try to shape those memories. They just happen. But the memories will be there, nonetheless. Our lives and how we live them determine the beauty of that tapestry. Congratulations, Dr. John! Thank you for such a beautiful life.

The 5 Posts directly below, blend with this theme. They continue the thought. Thanks for coming:

1) Eleanor and St. Therese
2) Death. How We Deal With It
3) Heads Or Tails
4) A Letter To Aunt Molly
5) Coping With Sadness