It has been six weeks since a new post has appeared on these pages. I probably should have known that something was up, when I started re-printing older posts. I asked jokingly if I was getting lazy. But the real question I should have been asking myself was, “Why?” But like any question we ask ourselves, it demands an answer. And many times, we don’t have the will, or the energy to search ourselves for that answer. So, we just allow things to happen. And play a wait and see game of “What’s next?”

To search our minds, our motives, our actions…this is not an easy job. Too often, it is one that we really don’t want to pursue or get involved with. It takes effort. But beyond that, many times it leads us down a path that we are unwilling to follow. We don’t want to know THAT much about ourselves. We just want to get on with our lives, doing the same old, same old. We want the “good times” back again. That’s all.

Many times, if not always, the same old, same old is the very cause of our sadness. We want things to be different, we want “freshness” in our lives, but we don’t want to do anything that will bring this change about. I believe that mankind can be inherently lazy. We want things to go right, to go the way we want them to go, but are unwilling to do whatever is necessary to make the changes happen.

That is as about as good a definition I can give of myself and the state that I find myself in, at the moment. Would I like to print a blog each day? Of course, I would. But the well is dry. The water, that I seek, is below the surface. And, I have no tools to dig, no desire to dig and probably no cup to fill. What do I do? What do we do when we are confronted with a problem that seems to mock us. It laughs in our face, grinning at our frustration to deal with it. How do we cope?

I said earlier that we should ask ourselves, “Why?” Anything that bothers us, whether it involves the path our life is going, the things that are happening around us, to us or by others whom we love, whatever it is, we need to look at and ask ourselves, “Why does this bother me”? “It just does”…is NOT an adequate answer. That is a cop out. We need to find out what it is, ((inside us)), that allows this to bother us. Why do other’s actions, or even my own actions tip me over?

It is one thing that we are not expecting that “something”. But jolts to our expectations are “surprises” and nothing more. When they disable us, or hurt us, or throw us off our game, or cause us to grow angry, then there is more to this then just a surprise. It is here we ask that important question, “WHY?” “Why does this bother me, so?” If we honestly try to answer that question, what we find may lead us to a whole new understanding about ourselves. It can be a game changer. “How”, you ask? “How can this change my life?” That is the answer that we will find out when we pursue the Why.

Pursuit of the Why is not just a comfortable phrase. One answer will lead to another why, and so on. This will continue until we come to a true, meaningful answer for our self. For example: Why does my not writing a blog bother me? (I hope I am strong enough to bare my soul)… I feel that not writing is a path of least resistance. Why? It takes effort. I have no thoughts. It is easier to play a chess game, or to watch TV. My soul feels dried up. My mind feels dried up. The list can go on and on. Why is there so much resistance to writing, now? I don’t have a spark. Something is wrong. Am I praying, enough? Am I praying? Do I talk with God? Why not? Why do I feel so barren? It seems like I pray, (or write blogs) when I feel good. When I feel close to God, that He is smiling on me then my spirits are higher. God has not changed. He cannot change. He loves me, always has, always will. I am the one that has changed, not Him. So my actions say that I can pray, that I can speak to others about Him, that I can try to be like Him….when I FEEL GOOD. This isn’t right. When the sun is shining, and when it is raining, He still loves me. I cannot, should not let my moods sway me. In understanding my mood, I will understand myself. And regardless of whether I am happy or saddened by outside circumstances, my love for Him and my fellow man cannot, should not be affected nor swayed. This is true. But, will I meditate on this? Will I allow this to become part of my personality? It depends on how much I participate in God’s constant love for me. Once again, I pick myself up and vow to start anew, being reminded, again, that His love for me is always there. He waits for me to ask the Why?

You may feel that this post just asks questions but provides no answers. And, you are right…to a point. The question of why some things bother us will be different for each of us. Only WE can ask that question of our self. Only WE can answer that question. Each of us must seek out our own answers. The question will be the same for all of us, the circumstance will be different and the answer will be unique to each of us. May we always realize the constancy of God’s love for us.

Here are some other Posts that blend with this one. Continue the thread:

1) Do You Know YOU
2) God’s Plan For You
3) Knowledge of Self