The title may seem to be a contradiction, but in reality it isn’t at all. The usage of “Pro Choice” in the world today is simply focused on the wrong timeframe, the wrong action. We all have choices to make. Each man and woman must make the choice of who will be their mate for life. Each must make the decision: is so-and-so the right person for me? Will my choice complete me? Will it be good for me? Will I be good for the other? Will this person be the one with whom, I spend the rest of my life? Do I want him/her to be the parent of my children? These are the choices that we must make. The engagement time is not a time to impress or wow the other person. It is a time to allow that person to see us as we really are. If we put on a mask which we think the other wants to see, or wants us to be, then our marriage will be based on deception.

Having made all of these choices the married couple then has different sets of choices to make. Is now the time for the two of us to bring a baby into the world? Are we ready at this time of our life? Do we want this to happen? We are, after all, intelligent, thinking human beings with free will. Aren’t we? The choice is ours to make. In marriage, a husband and wife become co-creators with God. They have made as many choices that they could possibly make as thinking, loving human beings. Their responsibility as co-creators is to bring all the natural elements together to produce another human.

But wait, we are more than just animal. What makes a human being, a human being? What separates us from all other animals? We have a mind that can think. We have the ability to love. And there is something else within us. We have a spirit, a feeling inside us that tells us that there is something else, someone else. Our hearts are restless. We seek a union with our God, our creator. Where does this feeling come from? Why do we have it and not other animals? With our creation, God breathed into us a desire to be re-united with Him for all eternity. When does God breathe His spirit into us? At what point does He give us the greatest gift possible? Himself! We know that a baby begins to take shape the moment the sperm impregnates the egg. Does God wait awhile before instilling His love, His spirit into us? I don’t see it that way. I can’t see God pacing the clouds waiting to complete this new creation with His spirit. If a man and woman determine that it is time for a baby to begin its life, then God, as co-creator, does His part and instills the spirit, the soul into the child, at that same wonderful time.

From the first moment of conception, the child’s potential is known by God. This is not some microscopic bug, to be squashed under a thumb. If allowed to come to completion, the child will have a mind, a personality, warmth, a smile. It already has a soul. The moment for making a choice has passed. This is not the time to decide if we really want this child, to decide if this child should enter this world or not. In this regard, our choices should have already been made from the time of our engagement down to the very moment of conception. To make a choice now would be like making a choice not to speed in a car, as it careens over a cliff at 120 mph. At this point, our relationship with our God and with our mate comes to the foreground. It is here that our trust in Him, in His love for us, in His concern for our well-being and that of our unborn child comes into play. The very love that we have for our God guides us, directs us to focus our love on the unborn child. The very love that we share with our mate reveals to us the new responsibilities that each of us now have. If the act of conception was not completed out of selfless love, but rather self-pleasure, then it will be self-indulgence that will determine the life or death of the unborn child.

So we do make both. We crave to be independent and make our own choices. But we must make sure that those choices are made continuously throughout our engagement and married life. And not just at the last critical moment. As was said earlier, that is not the time for choice. We really have to ask ourselves the one most important question, which is, “Do I choose to love God or myself?” With love for God, we trust in Him. With love for our self, we trust in a fool.