I just want to talk with you, oh Lord. My prayers always wind up confused and mixed up. I am always searching for the right word. Today, right now, this time …. none of that. I just want to let my thoughts, my feelings run out of me. I feel very lonely right now. Not really lonely, but I guess the proper word is embarrassed. I always say that I will do this and I will do that. But when the time comes, I do neither. I go a totally separate way. How often, I feel that I should treat someone better, and then I go and do just the opposite. I feel like such a mess. I know you love me, and I sometimes wonder why. It seems like all I can do is screw up. Even now, I am wondering am I really trying to talk to you or worrying about how this is going to sound. I know you love me, but I can’t imagine why. No, that isn’t right. You are goodness, true goodness. You love me. You don’t look at what I do. But rather, you look at what I can be, could be, what you created me to be. Lord I want to be that person. I want to love you and all of your creation in just that way. But then … I don’t. I go my way. I do what I want to do. I screw up again. All I can say is thank you for loving me the way you do. Thank you for creating me, and giving me the parents, the friends and relatives that I have. But most of all thank you for giving me the opportunity to love you back. I want so much to be the person you want me to be. All I can say is that I will try. I know I have said this so many times before, and meant it, so many times before. And yet I fail to do it. Once again, I will try to love you. Once again I will try to love all who I meet today. Let me see you in them. Let me see that they are just like me, screw ups and trying to love you in the best way that they can. Lord, I love you. This is my prayer to you today… Help me, help me become better. Not because I want to be good, but so that you may see one more of your creations honoring and loving you. Help me to realize that you created all mankind to love you and to experience the joys of love. Help me feel the depths of your love for me, and let me be humbled by it. Thank you.

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