Always on My Mind

Sit in a comfortable chair. TV is not on. There are no magazines, or books near you. No cell phones, laptops, or I-pads are near you. You are alone. It is just you and your thoughts. You may be uncomfortable at first. You can’t help but wonder, “What now?”

Once the initial shock is over, your mind is now free to roam. Where does it go? This is when we learn about ourselves. Our thoughts rise to the surface when we clear away the clutter, the outside distractions. Where does our mind take us? Last night’s ballgame? The new neighbor? Craving for something, like food, or cigarette, or drugs, or sex? Anger towards someone? Disappointment with a family member? Disappointment with ourself? Wherever our mind eventually takes us and holds us that is what is important to us, even if we don’t realize its importance. We tend to focus on those things that matter to us, that pre-occupy us, that satisfy us, that make us feel comfortable.

In all instances, wherever it is that we flee to, it is there that we are seeking relief and comfort. Are these the things that really matter? It all depends on what the underlying reason is that we seek them out, in the first place. If it is an escape, a way to not have to address the problems of our life, then it most certainly is not a positive thought. This escape is nothing more than a pleasurable and satisfying avoidance mechanism.

We are complicated beings. Things that we do are not always to our advantage. When we know down deep that something is not right with us, but we lack the energy or desire to correct it, we tend to seek out a distraction. The more pleasurable it is means the longer that we can stay with IT and not have to pay attention to what we know needs correcting. Unfortunately, the longer we stay with the distraction, the more important it becomes in our eyes. Soon, we can even lose sight of that which we were trying to ignore. The only thing left is the dull ache that something is still not right, that something is still amiss.
It is here that we should turn our thoughts towards Jesus. He is our friend, the answer to our dilemma. These are not just pious ramblings. The whole purpose to our existence can be found in Him. If we believe as St. Augustine said, “Our hearts are restless, until they rest in Thee”, then that dull ache that we feel is our discomfort of not moving in sync with Christ.

Think about this for a moment. If we talk to Jesus as we would a dear and close friend. We would speak with Him about our worries, our concerns, and our disappointments in ourselves. And, then, we listen to His response. We listen in our hearts, our minds. The answers will be found there. Instead of that dull ache, instead of those multi-layered distractions, we find ourselves resting in His arms, crying tears of joy, knowing that we are where we should be.