The other day, my wife and I had a disagreement. I am sharing this with you, because I feel it shows Christ’s action in our lives, and how, our every day, is part of His plan. Every day that we live provides an opportunity to see ourselves better, to understand our strengths and weaknesses, to grow from our experiences. I provide this experience of mine, to show what I mean.

My life’s quality has been slowly eroding. Here in the NorthEast, we just had about 20 inches of snow dumped on us. My wife quietly announced that she was going to shovel the snow. She couldn’t have announced anything more disturbing to me. Whether it was my pride, my honor, my manhood… whatever it was, I couldn’t handle it. I told her that I would do it. She reasoned with me that a person in my condition should not shovel the snow. I countered with the fact that my quality of life was so poor, that not being able to shovel was just one more indication that my life was meaningless, and that I had just become a burden to all that cared for me. End result: my wife shovelled the snow and I sat and pondered. 

I knew that I could not shovel the snow. So, why did I make such a tirade of meaningless, and stinging arguments?  What was to be gained?  A show of pride? A plea for understanding? A last gasp of “Oh poor me”? I thought about it and looked to Christ for an answer. Nothing seemed to emerge. I know that all my huffing and puffing centered around my feeling sorry for myself. It is times like this, that our focus must be on Christ. We strive to imitate Him, to be like Him. I don’t see Christ saying how bad He had it, or, looking for Peter or John’s sympathy. Everything He said or did was appropriate for that particular moment.

When we quarrel with someone, aren’t we trying to force our will on another? We try to do it logically, but as our emotions and voice rise, we should know that logical speaking has left the building. What remains is our own self will, our own self interests.

In retrospect, it is easy to see where we went wrong. What is difficult is living in the moment. Seeing the present for what it is, and what our beliefs demand from us, at that particular time. Lord, help me to live in the moment. Help me remain focused on You, when life hands me something that is difficult to deal with. It is through You that my strength comes, and it is through You that knowledge about myself will emerge.

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