Dear Aunt Molly,
There are times in our lives when words cannot reflect the ache that we feel in our heart. We know what we are experiencing, but to form these feelings into words seems to be an insurmountable task. Whenever we experience the loss of a family member, a loved one who has been very close to us, we feel that deprivation. It seems that we can only focus our thoughts on what we have lost, on what we had and will never have again. It is during these times that we seem to go about our lives as if in a cloud. We know that something else is beyond this time, but we cannot see what it is through the mist of our tears. This is when we must live on trust. A trust that tells us that our friends will be there for us; a trust that comfort and consolation will once again, fill our hearts; a trust in a God who loves us and will hold us ever closer to His heart.
We walk on this earth for one reason, and one reason only. God has breathed into each of us a life so that we can experience the fulfillment of His love, the fulfillment of bringing His love to others. This is a task that every person on this earth has. Each act of love that we perform draws us closer to being united with our God. I believe that Rose completed all the acts of love required of her on this earth. God has drawn her back to Himself, completing the act of creation He had started with her.
The love you have for each other is a constant, it will always be there. Her love for you and family will never cease. Her death does not interrupt her love. Your lives have been intertwined with love and happiness and even sadness. And, through all of your experiences together, you grew together. Love is like that. Love draws us towards God and towards each other.
But what can be said of the heartache that we still feel inside us? How do we address the longing, the hurt which wells up in our throats and almost prevents us from swallowing? How do we deal with that? It is a normal response. It is a sadness that cries out for the loved one. We don’t want the separation. We will miss the shared experiences.
It is at times like this when our faith will rescue us. Yes, we hurt, but its focus is one-sided. We see our life without. We see joys missed. We see experiences no longer shared. These are normal, don’t get me wrong, but we can and should look through the eyes of faith. Christ’s death allowed us to see that suffering on earth is not to be shunned but accepted. His Resurrection enabled us to see that there is more to life than what we experience here on earth. His love for us enables us to love one another, and in so doing, unite with others and to God.
So you see, Aunt Molly, the love that each of you had for one another has blossomed into an eternal joy. Rose will always be with you. Your shared memories, your moments of laughter and sadness, the times you worried together, in all of these, Rose is still with you. Cherish these. Don’t let them fade. Your familial love has united each of you with each other and to God. Be at peace. She is.
This rather personal letter is made public for all the Aunt Mollies of the world, both male and female, who are going through a time of suffering and loss. The hope is that you may find some consolation within.
Tag Archive: Understanding Self
Jesus taught people about God, even in the face of death! This may be a strange way to begin a blog, but it is accurate, and at the same time thought provoking. Today’s Gospel, Matthew 14, 1-12, reads like a satanic modern day novel. It addresses the lust of Herod for Herodias, the wife of his brother, Philip. An evil oath made and a horrible promise kept. All of this happens because a young girl, Herodias’ daughter, dances before him. And then, it speaks of the beheading of John the Baptist, the cousin and friend of Jesus.
Why would Herod do something atrocious like this? To a man, that he quietly admired? That is one thought that screams out at us. Another thought is how did Jesus feel when He heard the news and the manner of John’s death? He was a man. He knew fear and sadness, just as you and I. John had reprimanded Herod, telling him that it was not lawful for him to lust after Herodias. For this John’s head was severed from his body to satisfy the wrath of the woman.
Jesus was preaching a revolution within people’s hearts and minds. He was advocating peace and love, not war and lust. He did not seek out wealth and riches. He could be found with the sick, the dying, the sinner, and the wretched of the earth. He was not addressing just one evil. He was overturning the lives of everyone. His call was for each person to review their lives, to see what it is, inside them that is preventing them from honoring their Father in heaven. Jesus knew that all mankind was suffering. It was suffering then; and it is suffering today. If John was beheaded, how much worse would Jesus’ own death be? “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me.” Yes, Jesus knew fear. He also knew, and preached with His own life, that good shall not bow down to evil.
He tells us, here in the 21st century that our lives must be lived in a manner that has concern for all. We cannot judge others. We must not. Each person that we see riding the bus, or the subway, each parent pushing a stroller, each service provider, every person that we pass by…all are struggling, are searching, all are wondering, “why me?” No one can point a finger. Not you. Not me. ALL are struggling. We don’t like this person. We don’t like that action. That person annoys us…we don’t know why… but that person annoys us. We allow our feelings, our anger, our frustrations, and our hurt to rule our lives. We should know better. We have been taught how we should live, and yet we do as we please. And Jesus, our Teacher, still says, “Come, follow Me.”
Well, here we are, the 2nd day of Lent is upon us. Forty days seems like a long time, but whatever we do, the days will come and go. Yesterday, while getting ashes on my forehead, I could not help but wonder. “The ashes are placed on our foreheads, to remind us of our need for repentance, to remind us that we are still very much imperfect”. And what is the Number ONE capital sin? It is the sin of pride. It is really incongruous isn’t it, that we, a society of people full of imperfections, struggle with the sin of pride.
We know our faults. Lord, do we know them. We can’t help but know them. They seem to constantly be reminding us that they are still with us. We look at our lives, and almost to the point of embarrassment, we want to turn our heads away. “Oh God, if people ever knew how I am, if they knew how very much I can and do offend you, they would never talk to me or be with me again”. We do feel that way and think that way. So what do we do? We put up a false front, a façade. This mask is what we have people see. This is how we protect ourselves. Do we strive to correct? No, that is too difficult. We just cover it up. We put on fresh paint to cover the rust underneath.
And here is the most incongruous aspect of all of this. This façade, this mask, this is what we become PROUD of. We struggle, not to correct our problems, but to maintain this illusion. We feel good, when we know that other people think highly of us. We are happiest when others believe that the mask that we hide behind is really us. And so, we do everything in our power to maintain that illusion.
Jesus asked, “Who of you is without sin?” That question wasn’t just for those people in His lifetime. That question rings down through the centuries of time, and stares us in the face. He has already told us that He loves us. He forgave us on the cross, telling His Father in heaven that we didn’t even know what we were doing. He LOVES US!!! Not as we love, with our conditions. We say, “I love that person….. but….”. We immediately put a condition on our love. We don’t really understand, nor appreciate what unconditional love is. We know that Jesus loves us. But we struggle to understand how He could do it, unconditionally. He does not look at what we have done. He looks only at the good that we are capable of doing.
Every person that you know, or ever knew has been asked that question by Jesus. None of us, or them could ever step forward. We ALL are struggling with our faults, imperfections and sins. And Jesus loves us ALL. Why then, do we hide behind our masks, our self-imposed prisons of deceit? It is because we haven’t really embraced and enjoyed the freedom of being loved unconditionally. Every person we know is loved unconditionally. We cannot keep denying our love of others, by throwing up observations that he is dirty, or greedy, or sinful, or a different race. So what? He or she is struggling just as we are.
This time of Lent is a perfect time to start looking within, at ourselves. What is preventing me from giving my friendship, my time, and my energies to others? What are the things that I am throwing up as reasons why I cannot or should not love that person? Grow closer to Jesus. Feel His love and goodness for you. Realize that He doesn’t stop at the mask, but sees us as we are, as we really are. That is the freedom that comes with being a Christian. I cannot undo the problems that I have caused. But I can begin to love my fellow man who is struggling as I am; and see Jesus in him. Have a loving Lent.
First I want to wish everyone, “A Happy New Year”. This is a time for reflection of our past, and aspiring to achieve the potential of our future. This can only be done by working on the now. We need to see ourselves as the culmination of all of our past experiences. Without our successes and failures we would be bland. We are unique, however, because of all that we have experienced, have endured, have overcome, have learned. This uniqueness is what we have to offer to the world.
I wish to start this year off on a positive note. I can think of no better way than to direct you to this video. May you enjoy it, understand it, and reflect on its implications within your life and those around you.
Click here for video
I would be proud if I had created this video. (I am not that creative). I thank the producers of this video for making it available for public use. To see others, go to the website openoureyeslord.net.
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