Dear Aunt Molly,
There are times in our lives when words cannot reflect the ache that we feel in our heart. We know what we are experiencing, but to form these feelings into words seems to be an insurmountable task. Whenever we experience the loss of a family member, a loved one who has been very close to us, we feel that deprivation. It seems that we can only focus our thoughts on what we have lost, on what we had and will never have again. It is during these times that we seem to go about our lives as if in a cloud. We know that something else is beyond this time, but we cannot see what it is through the mist of our tears. This is when we must live on trust. A trust that tells us that our friends will be there for us; a trust that comfort and consolation will once again, fill our hearts; a trust in a God who loves us and will hold us ever closer to His heart.
We walk on this earth for one reason, and one reason only. God has breathed into each of us a life so that we can experience the fulfillment of His love, the fulfillment of bringing His love to others. This is a task that every person on this earth has. Each act of love that we perform draws us closer to being united with our God. I believe that Rose completed all the acts of love required of her on this earth. God has drawn her back to Himself, completing the act of creation He had started with her.
The love you have for each other is a constant, it will always be there. Her love for you and family will never cease. Her death does not interrupt her love. Your lives have been intertwined with love and happiness and even sadness. And, through all of your experiences together, you grew together. Love is like that. Love draws us towards God and towards each other.
But what can be said of the heartache that we still feel inside us? How do we address the longing, the hurt which wells up in our throats and almost prevents us from swallowing? How do we deal with that? It is a normal response. It is a sadness that cries out for the loved one. We don’t want the separation. We will miss the shared experiences.
It is at times like this when our faith will rescue us. Yes, we hurt, but its focus is one-sided. We see our life without. We see joys missed. We see experiences no longer shared. These are normal, don’t get me wrong, but we can and should look through the eyes of faith. Christ’s death allowed us to see that suffering on earth is not to be shunned but accepted. His Resurrection enabled us to see that there is more to life than what we experience here on earth. His love for us enables us to love one another, and in so doing, unite with others and to God.
So you see, Aunt Molly, the love that each of you had for one another has blossomed into an eternal joy. Rose will always be with you. Your shared memories, your moments of laughter and sadness, the times you worried together, in all of these, Rose is still with you. Cherish these. Don’t let them fade. Your familial love has united each of you with each other and to God. Be at peace. She is.
This rather personal letter is made public for all the Aunt Mollies of the world, both male and female, who are going through a time of suffering and loss. The hope is that you may find some consolation within.
Tag Archive: Trust
Today’s Mass is in honor of St. Lawrence. The Psalm 112: 1-8 states, “Blessed is the man that fears the Lord…his heart is steady and will not be afraid.” These words typify the Deacon, St. Lawrence. God’s guarantee of safety, in the face of all forms of danger, was the only assurance that he needed. He faced his own torturous death with calm, with peace and even with humor. While his torturers were actually grilling him to death, his reply to them was, “You can turn me over now; I am done on this side.”
This display of immense courage and calm in the face of this terrible torture causes us confusion and bewilderment. How can he possibly remain like this? He must be someone God has granted unusual peace and long-suffering. We know that we could not display this same courage. We can’t even imagine ourselves even being willing to allow ourselves to endure such harsh punishment.
But the truth is, we can be. We truly can be. The direction of the above mentioned Psalm tells us how. “Blessed is the man that fears the Lord”. Blessed! Endowed with peace and serenity! Trusting in God! If God is my ally, what evil can possibly upset me? That, however, is the fly in the ointment. We go to church. We pray to God. We speak of our love for Him. We leave church … and forget everything that we said and felt. Trust is so very difficult for us. We have gotten so used to relying on ourselves, so totally, that we don’t even allow God to direct us.
“Fearing the Lord”, is not intended as a dread of God so that we are afraid to do anything contrary to His word. But rather fear in this context, implies a bond so close that we are happy to be aligned with Him. We understand His love for us, and so we trust Him, implicitly. We know a true love of a mother or father would not, and could not possibly harm their child purposely, but would protect him/her at all cost. Even though correction and discipline are sometimes employed by the parents, the child recognizes that he/she is loved. As a result of this secure feeling, the child responds, listens and tries to emulate.
With God, as our Father, our life becomes more than just a natural animal’s life. We are special to Him. If we are not special then, why would He have given us intelligence and the ability to reason (no other animal has it)? Why would He give us free will to make choices (no other creature can do that)? His love, an infinite love, has been and will continue to be totally engulfing us. You might ask, “How then can we suffer and die”? The ONLY evil that exists is the loss of our soul, the total disruption of the bond that exists between God and man. All other things that are regarded as evil are temporal, are fleeting. Loss of possessions, loss of health, disabilities, and even death — none of these bring about the loss of our soul. They are hindrances. They are things that we must endure; but they cannot, they should not take our gaze away from God.
So we see that what is important to us is what determines what we call “evil”. We are all called to greatness. We are all called to being re-united with God. If, however, our value system puts our job, our possessions, our family, our friends and acquaintances, our pleasures, even our health above God, then loss of any of these will represent evil to us. On the other hand, if our call to greatness, our call to being united with God is of paramount importance to us then we can understand St. Lawrence’s total disdain for himself and his almost humorous reply, “You can turn me over now; I am done on this side.” To reach this unity with God is what we must strive to work at the rest of our lives.
In today’s first reading, we see Moses striking the rock, not once but twice. In verse 8 of Numbers, chapter 20, we hear God tell Moses, “Take the rod, and assemble the people together, thou and Aaron thy brother, and speak to the rock before them, and it shall yield waters.” They were instructed to just speak to the rock. St. Augustine on this passage, tells us that they were not commanded to strike the rock at all; and when the water did not come at first, they struck again. In verse 10, then, they speak as if the work that they performed was of their own doing, “Can we bring you forth water out of this rock?” For this prideful act, Moses was reprimanded by God and told that he would not be the one to lead his people into the promised-land.
Then again, in the Gospel we hear Christ telling Peter, “Thou are Peter, and upon this rock, I will build my church.” (Matt. 16:v18) But shortly after saying these elevating words, we hear Jesus tell Peter, “Get behind me, Satan”. This was said, because Peter refused to accept that Jesus would be crucified. He was thinking as man and not as God would.
In both passages, we hear quick rebukes being uttered by God, because of man’s refusal to simply allow God’s plan to play out. These readings today really cry out to us, trying to shake us into reality. Don’t we realize that God’s work will be done, must be done? Man strives to dictate how and by whom things will be done. When we see things happen that we don’t understand, we cry out, “How can God let these things happen?” Why does He allow the baby to die? Why is there so much suffering in this world? Why does He allow evil to co-habit the earth? We don’t understand and like the Hebrew nation of
old, we cry out against God.
We have often heard the adage that God writes with crooked lines. Isaias (Isaiah) in his prophecies pointing towards the Christ, says in 42: verse 16 “I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight: these things have I done to them, and have not forsaken them”. These are powerful words, comforting words from our God. We think He abandons us, has forsaken us. We can’t see the reason for things. We don’t know why things can happen to us and to others. And because we can’t see, because we don’t know… what do we do? We blame God. WE abandon Him!! Our faith gives out. We weep. We use this as an excuse to turn away, to seek our comfort in other things.
God continually urges us to trust Him, to believe in Him. What is faith, if not TRUST? If we really believe that Jesus is God, if we really believe that Jesus, our God, loves us totally, unconditionally, why do we find it so hard to trust Him? We are so reluctant to relinquish the reins of control. We think, “If I don’t hold onto these reins, if I don’t control these horses pulling this carriage, I will truly be hurt. I will suffer.” So we grasp the reins tighter, refusing to let go. We are totally unaware that the horses are running because God lets them run. Will God really do something that will hurt us? Isn’t it really, we are afraid that what God permits will be something that we don’t want. So we refuse to let go. We resist allowing our lives to be guided by our God. And in that resistance we prevent Jesus from working through us.
When was the last time you didn’t have a care or worry in the world? Think back, when was it? It was a time when you didn’t worry about job, or salary; bills and debts did not exist; responsibilities and should’s and ought to’s were not part of your thought process. The last time I can remember I must have been five or six running down the street in North Philadelphia to see my playmates. How about you?
It is a shame since many times we put off thinking about God, praying to Him…because we have so many other things on our mind. I will start going back to Mass, soon, but not right now. I have so many things to do, so many thoughts in my head. Aren’t we really saying, “Mass isn’t the most important aspect of my life? God will understand, because He sees how busy I am?” What is more important than being united with our God? If we think this way, that God can take a back seat and wait, then maybe, we don’t really understand how important He is to our life. Period.
We amass all of these worries and concerns, and then parade them around in our mind as justifying reasons as to why we cannot go to Mass. They become the mechanism why we cannot see good in others, why we should not help those less fortunate. “I am too busy. I don’t feel comfortable around people like that. There just aren’t enough hours in the day.” And on it goes, our excuses build up and soon we actually believe these excuses to be real, to be formidable. So, when we say, “I will go back to Mass, as soon as these concerns are over…,” realize that the last time we were free of concerns was…when??
It is the nature of man, to worry, to fret. It is part of our life. It is almost innate in us. So there must be another way around this issue. Why must our worries be over before we speak to God? Why do all the items in our to-do list have to be checked off, before we can focus on our union with our God? They don’t have to be. It is us! We want order in our lives, so much that we are willing to put off the most important relationship for our lives. But of course, we don’t think of it as so, because … there are so many other things in our life that concern us.
At the end of chapter 11 of Matthew’s Gospel, verses 28-30 speak directly to this point. Jesus says, “Come to me, all you that labour, and are burdened, and I will refresh you. Take up my yoke upon you, and learn of me, because I am meek, and humble of heart: and you shall find rest to your souls. For my yoke is sweet and my burden light.” Don’t wait until the trials, and problems and money worries, and sicknesses and everything else that oppress us, end. Don’t wait. Run to Him; Seek Him out. Lay these burdens that are suffocating you, at His feet. “Lord, I can’t bear them any more. I am so troubled by all of this.” THIS IS your prayer. This is how you seek Him out. In two small sentences you present yourself, as you are. A person that is seeking, troubled, weighed down, and confused. There are no pretenses here. This is who I am right now, Lord. Help me. Don’t expect the troubles and problems to magically disappear. Don’t expect magic. Expect peace. Your prayer is for peace, not solutions. Solutions will solve one problem. Peace will be your strength in all of your battles. Christ, who loves you, who hears you, who has told you to do just so, will flood your mind and soul with peace. The problems may still be there, but they are no longer insurmountable. You have peace within. And in that peace, in that calm comes the realization that our life is truly meaningless without Jesus, without God in our lives. And with this realization, we know that all of life’s burdens are not mighty majestic mountains, but merely speed bumps that crop up from time to time.
The Gospel today, focuses squarely on Judas Iscariot. Why? Why not Peter, as well? Both men turned their backs on Jesus. Peter with his denial and Judas with his betrayal, both spurned the Christ. In effect, both men wanted nothing to do with Jesus either out of fear or out of greed.
The only difference between the two is faith. Though both had fallen, as all of us do, Peter never relinquished his faith in Jesus. The realization, of how great his offense was, reduced Peter to tears. And in his sorrow, in his time of trial, he fled back to Jesus who was waiting for him. Judas, on the other hand, on his realization of the magnanimity of his offense, despaired. One, relying on his faith in Jesus, returned with sincere sorrow, grateful in that faith that he would be forgiven. Judas had no such strength to fall back on. His faith in material things delivered no such solace. With no reliance on Jesus, his life proved to be empty, meaningless and he sought the coward’s way out, he hung himself.
No one is perfect. Neither you nor I can point our incriminating finger at Judas without turning that same finger back upon ourselves. Christ said it, Himself, “He who is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone…”-1 This is not an attempt to soften our own negligence, to make light of our own capricious living. We are all struggling to bring our lives into accordance with God. Yes, He understands our frailty. But our weakness cannot be our excuse. Our lives will always be a continuing struggle. Life is a struggle to excel, to succeed, to grow.
In what are we struggling to excel? To succeed? To grow? That is the important aspect of our lives. If material things are of paramount importance to us, then in that, we have placed our faith. What occupies our main focus during the day? Then in that, we have placed our faith. It is not rocket science. What do we want? What do we desire? What moves us, and motivates us? That, and only that, will show us what our primary concern is. Yes, we should be attentive to our finances, our children, our home, and our jobs. But these concerns must always be placed within our trust in God, our faith in a loving, caring God. We can, like Peter, place our trust in Jesus. Or, we can place our trust in things. What will warm you the most? Which will comfort you in your time of need?
-1 John, 8, 7
First I want to apologize for having published only one post over the first two weeks of April. Many other things have occupied my attention and my time. I will try to do better over the remainder of the month.
Last year around this time, thesteppingstones wrote about “Divine Mercy Sunday and Saint Faustina”. Also published was “Divine Mercy Sunday”. (Click on either publication to go directly to it.) It is in that last publication that the following words were quoted:
“ I desire that the Feast of Mercy be a refuge and shelter for all souls, and especially for poor sinners. On that day the very depths of My tender mercy are open. I pour out a whole ocean of graces upon those souls who approach the fount of My mercy. The soul that will go to confession and receive Holy Communion shall obtain complete forgiveness of sins and punishment. On that day all the divine floodgates through which graces flow are opened.” (Diary, 699).
The Divine Mercy Novena begins on Good Friday and extends to the Sunday after Easter. By clicking on Chaplet and the Novena you can go directly to these prayers. Both can and probably should be recited every day. But a strong effort should be made by us to recite and pray these special prayers from Good Friday to the Sunday after Easter.
This time of Grace seems to be most special to Our Lord. It is He who urges us to return to the fount of His Goodness, His Love. It is He who wishes us to return to the simplicity of life and the trust of little children. You need not be a harbinger of doom to recognize that our civilization is seeking everything it possibly can that leads it away from the Christ and towards its own destruction.
Jesus said time and time again, that we should be as little children, and to let the children come to Him. What is it that makes a child, a child? At the core of every child is it not TRUST? Jesus asks us to do nothing more than trust Him, lay our lives out before Him. Instead of wealth, or material things, or prestige, or position, let us trust Him and His goodness. If your child trusts you, will you not do everything you can to put your arms around them and protect them? It is the same with Jesus?
Oh, the beauty and simplicity of the Bible. Today’s Gospel (Luke 5:27-32) says in very simple words, why Jesus came to mankind. Read the cited passage, but if you don’t have the time to look it up, verses 30 to 32 say it all. “And the Pharisees and their scribes murmured against his disciples, saying, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” And Jesus answered them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”
There, in less than 50 words, Jesus tells us, “I know you need help. It is for this reason, I have come to you. Trust Me. Acknowledge and confess your guilt, your confusion.” He came into this world for sinners, you and me. When will we recognize our plight? When will we admit that we are not the perfect person, we want others to think we are? We spoke yesterday of hiding behind a mask. We protect the illusion of goodness and propriety, at all costs.
And Jesus patiently waits for us. He waits for us to hear, really hear, His words and understand that He is speaking directly to us. We seek out so many things that are unimportant. We let them occupy our time, our thoughts and our energies. And that which is most important, namely, our acceptance of His words, our belief in His words, our living our lives based on His words, these we relegate to a dusty corner in our life.
All we need to do is go to The Physician. Tell Him we are not well. Tell Him we may not even know what is wrong with us, but we know that something is wrong. Believe in Jesus, TRUST Him. Trust Him with every fiber in our body. Know that He will be with us and provide us what is best. Then, having said this, having done this… live every moment of our life in the present. Don’t worry about the past. It is over. Don’t be concerned about something an hour from now. We have no control over the future. That person who you just met, give them your undivided attention. That problem that just cropped up, recognize it for what it is and not a crisis. That feeling that you feel right now, be aware of it but not a slave to it. Christ is NOW. He doesn’t dwell in the past. Nor is He to be found in the future. He is what makes the present, beautiful. He waits for us, in the now.
