Easter Vigil

         For some reason, prominent in my mind today is Jesus lying motionless in his tomb. The horrible events of yesterday are over. All the commotion and butchery, all the insults and pain have subsided. The coolness of the cave, probably even a little damp, seems to offer some comfort, some balm to the raw wounds of His tortured body. The deafening silence seems in awe of Him, Who is laid there.
         He, who taught us every day of His life, who preached by word and example how our lives are to be lived, what does He wish to show us now, as He lies there quietly, motionless? Soon there will be the Resurrection. Soon there will be the proof that He would indeed rebuild the temple that was destroyed. But right now, as He lies there motionless, what lesson, what insight can we glean?
         By dying yesterday, by willingly giving up His life, He took upon Himself all the sins of the world. Everyone’s, yours and mine, He shouldered. This is what redemption required. One sacrificial lamb, the Christ, would be offered up for the sins of mankind. By our Baptism into Christ, we acknowledge that we are sinners. And, bearing the stains of sin we needed to be washed free of the effects of our misdeeds. Regardless of when the baptism was, when we were young, or in the recent past, every day we live we acknowledge our indebtedness to Jesus.
          Today, though, right now, there is no movement, no preaching, and no miracles. He lies there still, as though He is waiting for something to happen. Maybe today is for us. Maybe, today is our day to feel the pain, the sorrow, the shame, that our lives have caused. Maybe today we are to focus on where our lives are headed, to recognize that there are areas in our life that need to change. What has transpired over these two days was necessary because of mankind, us. Use this time to contemplate where your life is going. How important are these events to us? Do we really see and understand that Jesus is dying for US? His conquering evil and death is so that we shall be able to rise with Him tomorrow in glory?
         After reading this, close your eyes. Picture yourself there in the small cave with the buried Jesus. It is just you and the lifeless body of Jesus. There is no noise, very little, if any, light. You have witnessed the Last Supper, the agony in the garden, the mock trial, the scourging, and the crucifixion. What do you feel? What are your thoughts? Here is a man who died for you! He suffered intensely, so that you would not. Does the direction of your life change? Does it need to change? What one thing can we do to unite ourselves completely with Jesus? What will show our total acceptance of Jesus? It is to have the same love and concern for others that Jesus has for us. Then, and only then, do we reflect Christ. Then, and only then, can we consider ourselves ready for the Resurrection.

ASH WEDNESDAY

      Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. We go to Mass and afterwards, the priest gently presses his thumb in burnt palms from last year and makes the sign of the cross on our forehead. It winds up looking more like a circle, but we know a North, South, West, East mark was made on our forehead. “Remember, I beseech thee, that thou hast made me as the clay, and thou wilt bring me into dust again.” (Job 10:9) These words or a paraphrase of them are said as the priest makes the sign of the cross on our forehead.
      “Why, this ritual?” we should ask ourselves. Especially since the Gospel in the Ash Wednesday Mass makes it quite clear, how we should fast, and how we should do good. “When you give alms, sound no trumpet before you”, and again “when you fast, do not look dismal”, and still again, “that your fasting may not be seen by men but by your Father”. (Matthew 6: 1 – 6, 16 – 18) It seems almost like a contradiction. We wear ashes and yet are told to wash our face, to not appear any different to our fellow man. The fact is, we don’t wear the ashes to proclaim our holiness, or to appear to all that we are getting ready to fast, but rather to acknowledge that we are a community of sinners in need of repentance and renewal.
      It is only when we look into our souls and recognize all that is preventing us from truly uniting with Jesus we begin to understand our life, our direction. Maybe, this should be said in a different fashion. Our desire to be so united with Jesus gradually frees us and allows us to understand what it is that is keeping us from getting closer to Him.
      The ashes that we wear on Wednesday, do remind us that we are sinners in need of repentance. They should also remind us that Jesus died for us, loving us. We, who have so many imperfections and sins, are understood and loved. THAT is what breaks the bonds holding us back. His love for us, His total all-encompassing Love frees us. We can look at ourselves and our fellow man, recognizing that all of us are struggling with the same problems, the same sins, the same proud actions and all of us are loved. No one person is better than anyone else. No one person can look down on anyone else and feel superior. We are all struggling, all loved.
      This Lent, whatever acts of self denial we choose to perform, let them be actions that cost us something, and not be actions that make us feel good about ourselves. We can give up smoking, or candy, or something that we like. We could also do something for someone else. Do we know someone who is homebound? Do we know someone who is lonely, grief-stricken, or depressed? What can we do for them? YOU who have suffered through illnesses, and grief, and depression, YOU who have struggled with sins and despair, YOU can quietly bring the love of Jesus to someone. How can you? You can, because Jesus loves you. This Lent is a time for all of us to bring Jesus’ Love to the world, the world of our friends and acquaintances. Let’s have a great loving Lent!

Why Should I Forgive Myself?

Flowing of Forgiveness and Love

      A good friend of mine, a priest, was talking to me about growth. During this conversation, he pointed out how forgiveness of self is just as important as forgiveness of others. “Actually”, he continued, “if we don’t’ forgive ourselves, it becomes impossible to forgive others.” My head did a double take on that. A gigantic lesson was being placed in front of me, one to which I knew I had to pay attention. We spoke of many things that afternoon, but I would like to pay particular attention to this thought.
      It all begins with Christ and His love and forgiveness for us. This is not just a pretty grouping of words, but rather it is the heart of Christianity. When all is said and done, the central theme of Christianity, Catholicism, all revolve around Christ. He knows who we are. He knows what we are. He knows that we don’t always accomplish the good, we desire. However, His love for us is constant, always there. Yes, we must strive to do better with our lives. Yes, we must strive to return this love to Him. But, in spite of our slips, our falls, our downright evil actions, He is constantly loving us and desiring our love in return.
      So, think about this, to Jesus, what we did last night, what we want to do today…He forgives and loves us. What we did in our distant past…He forgives and loves us. He knows that once we accept His forgiveness….wait….really accept His forgiveness, feeling truly sorry for our actions, craving to become more like Him and loving Him, as He is, in us and others, then we have truly begun our journey to and with Him.
      Do we know we are forgiven? Do we know that Jesus loves us? Take out the “we” and “us” and let it read, “Do I know I am forgiven?” Do I know that Jesus loves me?” Why is it so important for us to know these things? You and I are no different than ANY other person walking this earth. Think of the best in your eyes, and think of the worst in your eyes. We are all alike. There is no best and worst. We are all loved by and forgiven by Jesus. We cannot look upon others any differently than we look upon ourselves. We have all sinned. Because of us, it was necessary for Jesus to come into this world. And because of Jesus, we are all saved. What we have to do is acknowledge, accept, and embrace the love and forgiveness of Jesus.
      There is one last thing that we should consider. It can be very informative to us. If we DO find fault in others, if we find it difficult to embrace others with their problems, their faults, their way of living, THEN we have not yet forgiven ourselves the way Christ wants us to forgive. We do not have to embrace other’s problems, other’s faults, other’s way of living, but the person saddled with these, we must embrace, we must forgive. Forgiveness is a willed action, not a feeling action.

Charismatic Conference

Fill the Hearts of Thy Faithful

      Yesterday, I did something. Something that is very different for me. I attended a Charismatic Conference, in Wildwood N.J. I did not really know what to expect. I had been to one, once before. At that time, I left the meeting confused but oh, so very much alive inside. I did not know what to make of it. And, unfortunately for me, I sought no answers.
      I found out that there was a conference going on, Oct. 8 – 10^th, and decided I would try once again. To be fair, my life has changed quite a bit since I attended the last conference. A change in which, Padre Pio played a major role.
      I entered the large conference room and immediately a sense of insecurity washed over me. I sat down and observed people moving about and casually chatting. A speaker was covering some preliminary agenda items, and then suddenly… he let out a huge ALLELUIA. Actually it was more like an ALLELUUUUUUUUIA, to which the gathering replied back in kind. I thought, “Oh God, what am I doing here?” The word “revival” ran around in my mind, and all my pent up negativism swarmed over me. I was drowning in my insecurity.
       I say all of the above, to make a point. Very often, too often, something or someone does not act the way we do or the way we want them to. Somewhere inside of us we draw an X over it. We say or feel that it is wrong, that that is not the way it should be done. We turn it off and worse yet, we close our minds to it. This group was worshipping and praising their God in a way they felt comfortable. They were merging their minds, their hearts, their souls and their feelings. As a total person, each one was professing their love for their God and Creator. Of course, I was uncomfortable. If I were lucky, I might bring my mind and part of my heart into play to worship my God. My soul? My feelings? You must be kidding!! It took me a long time to feel comfortable just raising my hands when we pray the Our Father, at Mass.
       The speaker at the next segment of the conference was Kathleen McCarthy^-1. Her talk touched your mind, your heart, your feelings, and your very soul. Her words illumined what we knew all along, but were afraid to look at. Christ, our Redeemer, our Savior wants to reach everyone in this world. BUT, He needs our minds, our hearts, our feelings, our souls. We say we must love one another. It has a nice ring to it, but what does that mean? Stop and think for a second, “What would Christ do for my neighbor? The one that acts all proud and haughty and is difficult to like? The one that reeks of alcohol? The one that doesn’t go to church? The one that is thinking about having an abortion? What would He do for the couple that fight all the time? What would He say to the teens in the neighborhood that have no direction in their life?” Whatever He would say or do, must come from us. They won’t be our words, our actions, they will be His. But, He truly depends on us to take Him to these people, to let Him use our minds and hearts. We must learn to open ourselves to Jesus, to trust Him. We want to be His disciples and believe in Him.
      It is not as difficult as we make it out to be. If we truly believe in Jesus, in His love for us, what can we not do? In another post, it was said that in order to swim to the other side of the pool, we must let go of the side that we are clutching. It is fear that holds us back. We just don’t believe that Jesus depends on us. US? We have so many problems, so many ugly qualities. And yes, Jesus loves us, you and me. As Kathleen so aptly pointed out, He said on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” He not only interceded for us, and pleaded for us, He made excuses for us. They don’t know what they are doing.
      So, what then is this Charismatic movement? I am a neophyte, no rather a fledgling, but I would hazard to say that in our Baptism we received the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God. Dormant in us then, are all the gifts and graces that will fulfill our life’s mission. The movement seems to be the opening up of ourselves in trust and allowing Christ to work through us, to use these gifts. In so doing, we can truly love one another. Earlier I asked, “What does it mean to love one another?” It means that the other person is more important than us. It means that how we treat them, what we think of them, what we do for them is exactly how we treat Christ, think of Christ, do for Christ. ALLELUUUUUIA!^-1    Kathleen McCarthy blog

Use Me as Your Mirror

I was sitting in the chair the other night. The TV wasn’t on. The computer wasn’t on. My mind was.

What We Bring to the Confessional

In her diary, St. Faustina records three attributes necessary for a beneficial Confession.

Day of Divine Mercy

 Well, today is the day. We have witnessed great acts of Love by Christ over the past few days.