On my way over to the hospital today, I felt a complete emptiness inside. This void inside seemed so great, I truly wondered what I was doing going to talk to hospital patients. How could I speak to them of Christ’s love? How could I let them know of the joy that fills us when He embraces us? I felt as joyous and as loving as the street signs I was passing. I truly questioned whether it was right for me to go there, today. Out of nowhere, a gentle thought came across my mind. “It isn’t about YOU”. Talk about being struck between the eyes. It doesn’t matter what I feel; what I think; what I want. Serving our Lord and God, means we just step out of the way and let Him work through us.
At Mass, today, a lot was said about being in the presence of God. I tried picturing being there in God’s presence. I definitely could not see myself high-fiving God, or even asking Him how He was today. I could only picture myself standing, kneeling, hovering in the back, and not daring to raise my eyes. I believe the two thoughts are strikingly similar. It’s not about us…and… how we act when we find ourselves in the presence of God,
If we blend those two thoughts together, a singular thought jumps out at us. When in the presence of God, we must be struck with our own puniness. How insignificant we, probably, must feel in the presence of the Almighty. Our actions at that time, whatever they are, surely must be filled with love, and awe. We probably desire to do perfectly, everything we can. This desire for perfection does not stem from our unworthiness, but rather, anything short of perfection would be out of place. And so we strive, at that moment, to be the person that God has envisioned us being, throughout all eternity.
This leads us back to the original thought. IT’s NOT ABOUT US. How does God envision us? What are His expectations? Does He expect us to be the chairman of the board? Does He think of us as the leaders, who are to make sense out of this world? Will He be upset, if we don’t reach the heights that we think we must? Just what does God want from us? What does He want us to achieve?
Throughout all of creation, God knew that He would be sending His Son. He knew that an example of how to live our lives would be required. Mankind may have intelligence, but we can also let our baser instincts cloud that intelligence. And so, in time, He sends Jesus to be the example, to show us how to live, how to act, how to love one another. To Thomas’ question, “Lord, how can we know the way?” Jesus tells him, and us, the plan to follow, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No man comes to the Father, but by me”.-1 Nothing that we do, or say, or feel can add anything more to what Jesus has already given us. The path, the plan, is simple…Follow Jesus. He has demonstrated how we are to treat one another. He has, without a doubt, given His all for mankind. Through our inter-connection with each other, we know and experience the goodness and love that is Jesus. We know the way our lives must go.
The question is there for each of us, when we get caught up in ourselves. What shall I say? What should I do? What is expected of me? Why do I feel so empty? Why do these things keep happening to me? These questions arise from where we stand, in front of a mirror, admiring ourselves, only to realize that we are greatly, woefully lacking. Or, do we stand in front of God, no longer contemplating ourselves, but in awe of His beauty and love, striving for a perfection of which, anything less would be out of place. Where we stand does make a difference. Our attitude on ourselves, each other, and our world is vastly affected. And so, it is of paramount importance to us, that we reflect on the implications of what our answer means, when we ask, “Where do I stand”?
-1 John 14,6
Your thoughts today really struck me, because I spend a lot of time worrying about whether I
am really doing what God wants me to do, and often feel that emptiness inside and wonder if
it’s because I’m NOT doing it. I’m not consciously aware of neglecting to do something I ought to be doing, I just worry about it. I tell Him, sometimes, “Lord, if there’s something special You want me to do, You’re going to have to, please, PUSH me in the right direction, because, if You leave it up to me to figure out, I’ll never get there.”
One of my favorite scripture readings is Micah 6:8: “You have been told, O man, what is good, and what the Lord requires of you: only to do the right and to love goodness, and to walk humbly with your God”.
Rita,
The last four lines of your comment, I think, hold the answer to your plight. You ask the Lord to PUSH you in the right direction. Is the objective to not be wrong? Or, is the objective to accept the Lord’s recognition of who and what we are and still know that we are loved? If I am only doing what I am told, or going where I am directed then if something goes wrong, I can raise my hands ans say, “He made me do it”. I know you want to be doing the right thing, and so you rely on Jesus to guide you. But you, yourself, answer your dilemna with the quote from Micah. “You have been told, O man, what is good, and what the Lord requires of you: only to do the right and to love goodness, and to walk humbly with your God”. Think about it. We are not to move on this earth as robots, but as living, breathing, and seeking humans. We have been told, “I am the Way.” We have been shown that Jesus’ Life is how we are to live. We will definitely fall short, of that I am convinced. But the smile on Jesus’ face, when He sees how we are trying to use our minds and hearts and souls to walk the path He has shown us, that smile is priceless. Your questions are good, Your heart is good. Don’t be afraid to take Jesus’ hand and let Him help you up.